Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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