Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
