my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
