are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
