Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
