he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
