Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
