I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
