I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I AM VODKA MAN
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
