ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize