I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
