i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
