He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
