Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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