Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
