i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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