Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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