Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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