ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
