doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
