My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
