I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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