I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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