hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This is not my ceiling
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh god it's open bar.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
