Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
