you guys were way drunker than both of me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
