do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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