and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
