Are we in a gay sports bar?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
