she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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