i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
