I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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