yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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