Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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