Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize