Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize