i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She bit a glass in half.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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