It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
