I want to walk on stilts...naked
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
