he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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