I heard we made out
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
