I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
