The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
