I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
