I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
