Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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