What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
