I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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