is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
