wanna go halves on a baby?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
