By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize