I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
