Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
