I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
