we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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