I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
vagina is talking i cant
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize